Showing posts with label abusers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abusers. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

There are various types of domestic violence tactics and abuses.

In an domestic violence abusive relationship, the abuser may use a number of tactics to maintain power and control over his or her partner: Domestic Violence using Verbal Abuse:
  • Name Calling
  • Threatening
  • Intimidating
Domestic Violence using Emotional Abuse:
  • Criticizing
  • Displaying jealousy
  • Using public humiliation
  • Putting down the partner
  • Isolating
  • Dominating
  • Using the Children
Domestic Violence using Financial Abuse:
  • Controlling the money
  • Concealing joint assets or shared money
  • Keeping their partner impoverished
  • Blowing money
Domestic Violence using Physical Abuse:
  • Pushing
  • Slapping
  • Hitting
  • Kicking
  • Choking
  • Pulling hair
  • Biting
  • Using Weapons
  • Tying their partner up
  • Locking their partner in a room
Domestic Violence using Sexual Abuse:
  • Raping
  • Physically attacking sexual parts
  • Forcing their partner to perform sexual acts
Domestic Violence using System Abuse:
  • Violating restraining orders
  • Violating child custody agreements
  • Telling lies about their partner to police, courts


  • Isolation:

  •   The man will strongly discourage contact with friends and family. He will insist upon a move to an area far from these people, possibly rural or remote if they are city dwellers.

  • Limiting involvement with others:

  •   He will deny the woman access to a car, not allow her to go to school. If she is employed, he will harass her on the telephone or turn up at her workplace and cause trouble so that she loses her job.

  • Control of finances:

  •   He will take her money, give her an allowance or make her ask for money. She will have to account for all her expenditures and will have no knowledge of the family finances.

  • Putting her down:

  •   The man will call her names, ridicule her, imitate her, tell her she is 'stupid', yell at her, downplay her accomplishments, degrade her dignity and self-worth, make her feel useless and inferior.

  • Playing mind games:

  •   He will deny the abuse ever happened, say 'she caused it', or make light of the abuse telling her 'she has no sense of humor'.

  • Using the children:

  •   He will threaten to take the children away from her.

  • Anger and jealousy:

  •   The man will get angry and jealous and accuse her of having affairs if she even speaks to another man.

  • Statistics About Domestic Abuse

    DID YOU KNOW THAT:
      Approximately 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women.
    (Department of Justice figures)

     
    Every 9 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted and beaten.
     
    4,000,000 women a year are assaulted by their partners.
     
    In the United States, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant.
     
    Every day, 4 women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands.
     
    Prison terms for killing husbands are twice as long as for killing wives.
     
    93% of women who killed their mates had been battered by them. 67% killed them to protect themselves and their children at the moment of murder.
     
    25% of all crime is wife assault.
     
    70% of men who batter their partners either sexually or physically abuse their children.
     
    Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women.
     
    73% of the battered women seeking emergency medical services have already separated from the abuser.
     
    Women are most likely to be killed when attempting to leave the abuser. In fact, they're at a 75% higher risk than those who stay.
     
    The number-one cause of women's injuries is abuse at home. This abuse happens more often than car accidents, mugging, and rape combined.
     
    Up to 37% of all women experience battering. This is an estimated 566,000 women in Minnesota alone.
     
    Battering often occurs during pregnancy. One study found that 37% of pregnant women, across all class, race, and educational lines, were physically abused during pregnancy.
     
    60% of all battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.
     
    34% of the female homicide victims over age 15 are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.
     
    2/3 of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once.
     
    Weapons are used in 30% of domestic violence incidents.
     
    Approximately 1,155,600 adult American women have been victims of one or more forcible rapes by their husbands.
     
    Over 90% of murder-suicides involving couples are perpetrated by the man. 19-26% of male spouse-murderers committed suicide.
     
    When only spouse abuse was considered, divorced or separated men committed 79% of the assaults and husbands committed 21%.
     
    Abusive husbands and lovers harass 74% of employed battered women at work, either in person or over the telephone, causing 20% to lose their jobs.
     
    Physical violence in dating relationships ranges from 20-35%.
     
    It is estimated that between 20% to 52% of high school and college age dating couples have engaged in physical abuse.
     
    More than 50% of child abductions result from domestic violence.
     
    Injuries that battered women receive are at least as serious as injuries suffered in 90% of violent felony crimes.
     
    In 1991, only 17 states kept data on reported domestic violence offenses. These reports were limited to murder, rape, robbery, and serious bodily injury.
     
    More than half of battered women stay with their batterer because they do not feel that they can support themselves and their children alone.
     
    In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are abused at a rate 1,500% higher than the national average.
     
    Up to 64% of hospitalized female psychiatric patients have histories of being physically abused as adults.
     
    50% of the homeless women and children in the U.S. are fleeing abuse.
     
    The amount spent to shelter animals is three times the amount spent to provide emergency shelter to women from domestic abuse situations.
     
    Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.

    Are you in an abusive relationship?

    Has any of the following ever happened to you? 
    Does your partner:
     
    1) Blame you for his or her mistakes?
    YES or NO

     
    2) Prevent you from seeing your family or friends?
    YES or NO

     
    3) Curse you, humiliate you, mock you or say mean things?
    YES or NO

     
    4) Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable?
    YES or NO

     
    5) Restrain, hit, punch, slap, bite or kick you?
    YES or NO

     
    6) Intimidate or threaten you?
    YES or NO

     
    7) Ever prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or continuing your education?
    YES or NO

     
    8) Destroy personal property?
    YES or NO

     
    9) Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?
    YES or NO

     
    10) Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends, or himself?
    YES or NO

     
    If you answered YES to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

    Friday, December 4, 2009

    Are You Abusing?

    Not all men are abusive, how do you measure up?

    Abuse Is:

    • Calling bad names or putting someone down
    • Shouting and cursing
    • Hitting, slapping and/or pushing
    • Making threats of any kind
    • Jealousy and suspicion
    • Keeping someone away from family and friends
    • Throwing things around the house

    Domestic violence is a crime.

    It destroys relationships and families.
    It passes from generation to generation.
    It doesn’t have to be this way.
    If you abuse, you can choose to stop.
    Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3223.

    Friends & Family

    Yes, it is your business

    Maybe he’s your friend, your brother-in-law, your cousin, co-worker, gym partner or fishing buddy. You’ve noticed that he interrupts her, criticizes her family, yells at her or scares her. You hope that when they’re alone, it isn’t worse.
    The way he treats her makes you uncomfortable, but you don’t want to make him mad or lose his friendship. You surely don’t want to see him wreck his marriage or have to call the police. What can you do?
    Say something. If you don’t, your silence is the same as saying abuse is ok. He could hurt someone, or end up in jail. Because you care, you need to do something… before it is too late.

    What Can You Say or Do?

    Draw attention to it.

    “Do you see the effect your bad words have on her?”
    “When you do that, it makes her feel bad.”
    “Did you mean to be so rough? That’s not cool.”

    Tell him what you think.

    “I’m really worried about her safety.”
    “I’m surprised to see you act that way. You’re better than that.”
    “I care about you, but I won’t tolerate it if you abuse her.”
    “This makes me really uncomfortable. It’s not right.”

    Express ideas about loving behavior.

    “Loving her doesn’t mean abusing her.”
    “Good husbands and partners don’t say or do those kinds of things.”

    Offer suggestions or solutions.

    “Men should never hit or threaten the women they love.”
    “Kids learn from their parents. Is this how you want your son to treat women?”
    “How would you feel if your daughter chose someone who acted like this?”
    “Call me if you feel like you’re losing control.”
    “Maybe you should try counseling.”
    “You should talk to your faith leader and see what he/she suggests.”

    If his behavior is criminal, tell him so.

    “Domestic violence is a crime. You could be arrested for this.”
    “You could end up in jail if you don’t find a way to deal with your problems. Then what would happen to you and your family?”

    He May Not Like It

    He may not listen. He may get enraged, deny it, ignore you or make excuses. He may want to talk about what she did to him. He may even laugh it off or make fun of you. Still, you need to say something. Your silence is the same as saying you approve.

    Or He May Take You Seriously and Decide to Change

    If men learn to put down and abuse women from other men, they can also learn from other men how to respect women. When you decide that violence against women is unacceptable and choose to lead, other men will begin to think twice before they strike with their words or fists.
    It isn’t easy or comfortable, but men must step up to the plate because next time, it could be your sister, mother, friend or co-worker. It’s the right thing to do.
    Listen. Teach. Lead.

    Help Stop Domestic Violence

    If you are concerned about the safety of your friend’s partner or spouse, or to learn about services in your area, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or
    TTY 1-800-787-3224.

    Do The Right Thing
    Tell Him There Is A Better Way
    Original Article
    UAADV DV Awareness Shop